Defense Mechanism: Regression

Regression is when we revert back to an earlier stage of development, often times during times of heightened stress. This defense mechanism is meant to create a sense of safety in response to the increase in stress.

The way I see it come up most persistently with adults is in communication styles. In our early attachments, we often form patterns in our communication. Perhaps you were in an environment that taught you to be compliant with authority, maybe you were in an environment where conflict was addressed with heated arguments and the need to have the loudest voice, or perhaps you were in an environment where showing heightened emotion eventually got you the response you were looking for.

Whatever the earlier patterns may be, regression can look like reverting back to these patterns in adulthood during times of heightened stress. Maybe you had a conversation with your boss last week and, looking back, you realize you submitted during the conversation in a similar way that you did in conversations with your attachment figures when you were younger. Or maybe you had a conflict with a friend recently and you realize you became verbally aggressive, in a similar manner you did during conflicts with your early attachment figures.

You may read this and think “Well, those don’t sound very safe!” And, on one hand, you’re right. But, on the other, you have to take into consideration that there is a sense of safety with familiarity. So, while these communication patterns may not appear very safe, they have a sense of familiarity with them which provides its own sense of comfort and safety.