Embracing the Dark

I was on a walk the other day and looked up at the trees. The leaves haven’t started to change colors quite yet, but I was reminded of when I used to teach several years ago and a lesson I did with my elementary students around this time of year. We would talk about the process of photosynthesis and do an experiment where we would extract all of the colors inside a leaf to see what colors they would display as fall arrived. In explaining the process of how leaves change colors, it all starts with one thing: less sunlight, or more darkness.

It is also always around this time of year that I start to see quotes and reminders of how beautiful it can be to let things go. And fall truly is a stunning time of year. It’s amazing to see all of the colors burst to life and oranges, reds, and yellows encapsulate the trees and the ground. Fall has a way of making me pause at its beauty.

Through thinking of the beauty of fall and what processes occur to make it happen, I was also reminded of much of the work I have done with myself and my clients. People come to therapy to feel better and are often surprised that to get to that point, we have to embrace our darkness first. Emotions we’ve avoided feeling, narratives we aren’t aware we live by, and views of ourselves and others that we unknowingly carry. This work is difficult, and many people say that they didn’t expect the work to be as hard as it was.

But, it’s by embracing this darkness, that we also get to step into a beauty we didn’t know was possible. Addressing our darkness allows us to step into an attunement, a knowing, and a wholesome understanding of ourselves that goes soul-deep. In our culture, we’ve equated getting better with feeling happy and joyful. While those may be emotions you get to experience more of throughout your healing, I haven’t done work myself or worked with a client where part of getting better didn’t involve stepping into our darkness and sitting with what we find there.

And, just like nature shows us every year in the fall, embracing this darkness will have unexpected, but beautiful effects. So, as the leaves start to change around you, remind yourself of the beauty in letting things go as well as the beauty that can come when we embrace our darkness.

Happy fall.