Intro to Defense Mechanisms
Perhaps you notice that every time you get constructive criticism your mind starts racing with all the things the person providing you the constructive criticism does wrong, too. You get angry that they are pointing out your areas of growth when they have plenty of their own they should be concerned with.
Or maybe you have started to relapse into behaviors you worked so hard to overcome. But, you find that you just minimize how much you care or find that you do not care at all.
Or lately, you notice you are getting a lot more frustrated with your kids than you used to. You are not sure where this is coming from, but you feel a rush of emotions overcome you when interacting with your kids that you cannot seem to control.
Or perhaps you find yourself saying “well, that’s life” or “…but it’s fine.”
These are all examples of defense mechanisms.
Defense mechanisms are something that we all engage in, whether we realize it or not. Rarely does somebody enjoy feeling the darker emotions of rejection, abandonment, loneliness, fear, despair, etc. So, in an attempt to not feel those things, we engage in defense mechanisms.
Defense mechanisms are meant to protect us. They create a barrier between undesirable feelings, thoughts, or actions. The problem is that the emotions they protect us from need to be felt at some point, and the thoughts and actions are likely going to keep coming up if we do not address the root of them.
Part of your therapy experience may be addressing these defense mechanisms, why they were formed, what function they have served you, and alternatives to engage in besides turning to these defense mechanisms.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll write about different defense mechanisms that you may find yourself engaging in. A goal of increasing your awareness of defense mechanisms is that you gain more control of when you engage in them. There may be times when they may be beneficial to engage in, but the goal is that you engage in them by choice, not by an unconscious defense.
