Tips for Setting Achievable Goals
Have you ever experienced setting a goal for yourself, but then three months into the new year that goal is long gone and you’ve lost all motivation? You are far from alone if this is the case, in fact, Emily and Amelia Nagoski talk about this exact thing in their book Burnout.
Emily and Amelia discuss a part of our brain that decides whether we should keep going with a task or give up. It’s called the discrepancy-reducing/-increasing feedback loop, but they call it “the Monitor.” The Monitor knows (1) what your goal is; (2) how much effort you’re investing in that goal; and (3) how much progress you’re making.
Throughout your day-to-day engagement with your goals, your Monitor keeps a running tally of your effort-to-progress ratio. There are some things that are not in your control that can cause you to put a lot of effort into your goals with minimal progress toward achieving them. But, there are also some things that are within your control that can help your Monitor be on your side for achieving your goals.
Below are some tips from Emily and Amelia on how to set goals that will keep your Monitor encouraging you to stick with them:
Soon: don’t set your goals too far out, this isn’t saying to stop setting big goals for yourself, but rather break those big goals down into smaller goals that can be accomplished sooner
If you have a big goal of running a half marathon but you’ve never run before, maybe break this big goal down into an initial, smaller goal of getting outside before or after work 3-5 times a week for a 20-minute walk
Certain: don’t pick something that has too many factors outside of your control, make it something achievable
As appealing as it can be to set a goal of never feeling anger this year, there are many factors outside of your control that can contribute to your anger for this goal to be certain. While avoiding anger isn’t within your control, you have control over how you respond. Perhaps you can set a goal of responding with mindful breathing instead of yelling when you are angry.
Positive: make it something that you are excited about and feel good about, not just something that avoids suffering
A lot of people set health goals for the New Year. By all means, these can be great goals, but find ways to root these goals in your worthiness versus shame. Instead of setting a goal to be more active because you are lazy, set a goal to walk outside 3-5 times a week because you really enjoy the fresh air and getting that time with your dog.
Concrete: set a goal that you can measure progress
In my friend group, we’ve been putting an intentional focus on being present and in the moment. To help with your Monitor, you may need to identify specific ways that keep you in the present and track those, such as decreasing screen time or engaging in mindfulness for 5 minutes every day.
Specific: make the goal as specific as you can
The goal of being more active is on a lot of people’s lists. Try and make this as specific as you can, such as being active for 30 minutes, 3 times a week.
Personal: set a goal that is tailored to you and your desires
You can peruse online and see many examples of goals and resolutions. If you see one online that you like check it to see if it needs any adjustments for you and your specific situation.
If you’ve already made your New Year’s Resolutions, check them with Amelia and Emily’s tips and see if you can make adjustments to help your Monitor stay motivated and engaged in achieving your goals.
