Twinkling Emotions

I’ve driven around more this year looking at lights than I have in many years, as my toddler son continually asks for “more, more”. And so we keep driving, not just to appease my son but because my husband and I enjoy them, too.

I love them for the pretty lights, the delight in seeing houses and streets lined and lit up, and memories of my childhood Christmases flow forth and fuel the inevitable smile on my face.

It’s a sweet time that I’ve cherished greatly.

And flowing just beneath the sensory enjoyment of these lights is the soul-deep reminder they give me. That none of our emotions are supposed to stick, even the joyful ones.

According to Brene Brown, twinkle lights are the best metaphor for joy. The lights come and go, just like joy. No matter how much we enjoy it or how hard we try to keep it, joy will inevitably end. As will all emotions, too.

This holiday season has taken twists and turns that have been rather unexpected. Some of them have been quite challenging to sit with.

But, I keep driving.

I keep looking at lights with my son in the back. And I breathe deep. Reminding myself that the hard emotions are going to pass. If I sit with them and give them their space and attention, they won’t stick around forever. And I’m not doing anything wrong when the more joyful emotions come and go. As much as I love sitting with them and want them to stay, they are meant to leave and make space for the next emotion. But they’ll come back again, joy and its partner emotions won’t leave forever.

So, as you drive around this season, I hope you are able to slow down and enjoy the lights. And as they twinkle in and out, may you remember that being healthy mentally means consistent emotional fluctuation. Our emotions are meant to ebb and flow and come and go. May you give attention to what is presently coming up for you, knowing that while you need to sit with that emotion for now, it’ll eventually get up, move on, and give space for new emotions to come.