Coping with Anxiety
Along with seasonal depression can come heightened anxiety during the winter. Some are okay venturing out in the cold or rainy weather, but I can only be out so long in the cold before I feel it has seeped down to my bones. And that’s not fun.
Around January/February it’s not uncommon that I’ll encounter a restlessness to get outside. It’s been heightened this year because Kansas hasn’t had as cold of temperatures as we usually do, but it still isn’t exactly warm enough to go outside and play. The warmer temperatures make me think it’s almost spring but we still have a little while before then. And I have a 1.5-year-old who thrives off of being outside adventuring and am yet to find a way to give him similar activity inside our house.
So, I’ve had a few more moments of feeling anxious lately. For me, anxiety causes my mind to race, my chest feels like it has a hamster wheel in it, and my shoulders feel heavy. In a season where I’ve enjoyed how present I’ve been able to be, especially when spending time with my son, anxiety can take that away.
So, as a reminder to myself and those of you also experiencing more anxiety, here are some coping skills I turn to.
5-4-3-2-1: Look around you and find 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you taste, and 1 thing you smell. You can switch which sense goes with each number.
Breathe: I try and take some intentional breaths by having a hand on my heart and a hand on my stomach. I breathe in through my nose, pause, longer exhale out of my mouth, pause, and repeat.
Find a happy object: Anxiety spirals can be hard to stop. One trick can be to find an object that fills you with happiness. This could be a picture on your phone of something that you enjoy, a small object that you can have with you regularly, or a scent that you can carry with you regularly. Try and make it a tangible object, relying on memory or the thought of something can be tricky to rely on with anxiety. When anxiety kicks in, pull out your happy object and see if you can bring some pause to the anxious thoughts.
What if it all works out: Anxiety is really good about getting us to think of all the ways that something could go wrong. Mel Robbins, a lawyer, says that something that can give anxiety a real pause is to challenge it by thinking about all the ways things can go right.
Play it out to the end: This one should be leaned into carefully because it will, at least momentarily, heighten your anxiety. But, if you feel you are in the space where you can handle that, play your anxiety “out to the end” and see if you can identify specific fears that your anxiety is playing off of. For example, if you are noticing your anxious thoughts are focusing on a work presentation you have tomorrow, play out the anxious thoughts and see what you are fearing. Are you fearing messing up and getting embarrassed? Are you fearing messing up and letting your boss or co-workers down? Are you fearing making a mistake and getting rejected from the job? See if you can identify the root fear, as that awareness can help you implement intentional coping.
Reminder that this is a season: Our days won’t always look like this. In a few months, green will be everywhere, colorful flowers will be in bloom, and our days will be spent soaking up a wealth of sunshine. When the days feel long, they can also feel endless. But that’s not the case. This, too, shall pass.
Anxiety is tough, my friends. If you find that you consistently try and implement coping skills and your anxiety continues to get worse or stays the same, I recommend reaching out for therapy. There may be something more going on that a therapist can help you explore and process.
