The Goal with Defense Mechanisms

So, we’ve spent the past couple of months working through various defense mechanisms. Perhaps you’re wondering, “now what?”

First, defense mechanisms are something we all engage in. It is not so much a matter of “do you engage in them or not” but “which ones do you engage in.” So, set shame aside if it has popped up because you have realized that your interpersonal interactions are infiltrated with defense mechanisms, everyone’s is.

The goal of this blog series aligns with much of what I do in therapy, to illuminate. When we become aware of persistent patterns that we engage in, we can then start to gain more control over them and have more say on when they show up. When it comes to creating change in persistent behaviors, progress often means diminishment in the amount of time it takes for you to realize you are engaging in a non-preferred behavior.

For example, up until now, you have never realized you’ve engaged in defense mechanisms. Growth would be looking back on an incident last week and realizing you engaged in them. And then perhaps being able to reflect within the same day that a defense mechanism has come up. Eventually, we work our way towards in-the-moment attunement that defense mechanisms are displaying and causing a breach in our attunement with self and the other person/people.

Defense mechanisms can be tricky to realize we are engaging in. So, this can be a topic that you explore within therapy. Should you live in Kansas, I’d love to work with you so we can explore the presence of defense mechanisms and work towards better alignment with yourself and others in interpersonal interactions. You can reach out to me here. If you live out of state, I encourage you to explore local therapists in the psychodynamic modality to explore this work more deeply.